Oh No, it’s happened again. WHY do I keep bingeing?
Might this sound like you?
You’re home alone. Nothing is on the TV. You are absolutely shattered and have had a rubbish day at work (or doing whatever you were doing). You might have had a perfectly decent day at work actually but something just feels “off”.” You might be bored, restless. Tired out. Had an argument or a difficult conversation and you can’t quite let it go.
It might be that there have been a few occasions where you have felt like this. It’s getting you down. Or you can’t stop thinking, worrying, going over things, as you sit at home with only your own mind to converse with and it’s not helping you much.
The tension or the niggle is starting to build.
Then out of (seemingly) nowhere, the urge to eat.
You have already eaten your “safe”/ usual / healthy/ not- so- healthy, whatever, dinner.
You are definitely not physically hungry but it doesn’t matter because the desire is less of a “I fancy something nice to eat” (although it might start there) .. and more of a “I need to eat.”
It develops like a wave building up and the noise gets louder. I need to EAT. I NEED to EAT. I NEED TO EAT NOW.
Nothing else will do, no distractions seem to be a good idea. The only good idea is to eat food and eat it right now. That will definitely help. It’s the answer to all of your problems in that moment.
But it’s OK, you say- I’ll just have a little bit.
And you start to eat. And eat. And eat.
Initially, you feel… good. Relief somehow. Calm.
But not for long. The “rational” brain kicks in and you feel shame….guilt. …horror… when it dawns on you how much you have eaten, what you have eaten and how quickly.
How did that happen? You feel as though you had zoned out, been taken over by something or someone else.
You tell yourself: You are useless. You have no willpower, and you will “start again”. This will be the last ever binge. You PROMISE yourself this, or you might start again on Monday … and this is a pattern that continues again and again and each time you are more confused and sad and hurt and ashamed than before.
You think this is all your fault.
How might it feel to understand that this might be a result of faulty “wiring” in the brain and that somehow, it somehow believes that the binge eating is helping you?
Disclaimer– I am not a neuroscientist, and I’m explaining things in very simple terms here!
Can you remember a time when you didn’t turn to food to help you get over a bad day/ reduce your loneliness, squash down feelings you cannot feel that you can say out loud, to celebrate something, to help you feel less sad… and so on? Some of you reading this may not be able to.
These feelings are all very difficult and extremely uncomfortable to deal with – and the part of the brain that is there to help us survive does not like change and uncomfortable things to deal with so it will hard- wire in “survival tactics” that will help you to feel better and not change. How did this “hard- wiring” happen? It’s not logical, is it?
Every time you eat to soothe yourself, for any reason, your brain thinks that this is a tactic that works for you, and each time you do this, it is reinforced a bit more. This reinforcement becomes a habit, ironically because the brain is doing what it is meant to do and that is to keep you safe and alive.
If you are reading this, you might now be thinking “Oh brilliant- I am stuck with this then. It can never change for me”.
Thankfully, this is not the case. You CAN rewire your brain. It doesn’t need perfection either – it needs consistency and time.
I work with people who want a way out of this vicious cycle. And yes, people DO find a way out! If you would like to know more, book in a FREE consultation with me and let’s talk.
Warmly
Su
